Wednesday, January 26, 2011

I'm Having a Terrible Day

This posting is going to be quite disjointed. I have two completely unrelated issues that I want to discuss.

The first issue relates to my real job. I am preparing for a hearing later this week. I started reading a transcript of testimony of two of the witnesses in my hearing that they gave at an earlier trial. Now reading transcripts is death defyingly boring even when the examination is well conducted. However, this testimony is terrible. The witnesses are almost unintelligible and the attorneys almost incomprehensible.

Answer: "Like, you know, like I think that ......... ummm, umm. Mary, ummm .......... no I mean Jane, umm .... like you know Jane said ......... ummm, uhhhh no it was Mary, I think, said ....uhhhhh like we need to get our asses out of here 'cause, ummmm you know, uhh we could get in trouble."

And I have 87 pages of that crap to try to decipher.

So I am sitting at my desk, retching at the absolute idiocy of these people. Babe has been in and out only 23-24 times. (He abuses his doorman rights whenever I am distracted). Babe is gone for much longer than his normal in and out to see if he can con a treat. Then he arrives on the deck.

Damn, he has a stick and he is going to want me to toss it for him. I ignore him and he doesn't insist on coming into the house. That's unusual. So I focus on the stick. DAMN its the leg bone of a deer. And Babe is proud as punch that he has it. Now he didn't hunt the deer but I assume that he found it near a road kill out here in the country.

Now I need to get this thing away from him. I open the door, he runs away. I close the door, he comes back on the deck. I've got work to do. I only have slippers on. It is cold outside here on the tundra.

After much haranguing he finally drops the leg and comes into the house. Now he is whining at the door wanting to go back outside for his bone. I will have to either kill the dog or trudge through the snow to get the bone so I can get it out of his sight.


Damn, I hate this day and my real work that I have to do.

Mr. Flannery

BTW - I would never harm Babe, he is my bestest friend. And I am reasonably certain that his testimony would be more coherent than the drivel these two witnesses provided.

8 comments:

red.neck chic said...

I'm sorry...

but I'm sitting here laughing so hard I think my sides are going to hurt in a second.

Please don't kill the dog - just take your aggression out on the witnesses.

After it's all said and done - like..... uhmmm.... you know... burn all of those 80 sumthin' pages.

I'm sending you my "happy" right now (but totally dodging that bone Babe has...euww!!!) uhhhhh.........

;-D robelyn

The Primitique said...

Babe was all proud of himself for that stick find!

As for the dumb people. Well, I guess they wouldn't be needing the services of the likes of you if they were overly bright, would they? Good luck with that.

~Mindy

Margo said...

Umm Like...Bless your ummm... heart,
Imagine how it was for the poor ummm ...court reporter person ummmm.....

Dogs can truly test us at times. Well, did you ever get that Leg????

Margo

Kris said...

I am with you 100%. I work for a large city PD and I do a lot of transcribing of Q and A's and I understand what you are saying about how boring and ....oh boy I can go on and on and on on all the things I hear. I'm sure you know what I mean. In regards to the dog EWWWWW hahaha. I got two dogs but I live in the city so they can't bring me any deer legs.

Karen said...

I always wondered what yo do for a "real" living....besides watch 14 television sets at once :).

antiquenut said...

Thanks for the laughs - love that Babe found the leg on your "bad" day!

Jaybird said...

Oh Lord.....and I hear these stories day in and day out.......
I also have to close my eyes to avoid the nastiness of all the piercings and tattoos and other assorted oddities.....gag.....
I would rather come face to face with the deer leg!! Go Babe!!

Nancy said...

Babe is beautiful! My first rescue dog came from Homeward Bound.